{deflated notions}

God is calling me... very loud and clear He is calling me. A few years ago I was told I would be ministering to women. Okay... I could NEVER imagine it... I had put it on the back burner of my mind. HOWEVER... now I know it is supposed to be the women of MEXICO. HOW... I live in Texas... my husband would like to continue to live in Texas...
I have two children... how is a mother of two children supposed to go to Mexico on any regular basis?! Does God call a mother of two children to leave her children on a regular basis to minister to women in another country?! Does God call a woman and not call her husband?!
O WAIT... 9 years ago Jeremy was the one being called... but not to missions... and I did not feel called at ALL!
Why would God call one of us at one point... and another one of us at another point... why is this all super confusing?!
I am sad. I am confused. I want to do what God wants me to do. BUT HOW?!